Resolving disputes privately is a principle deeply rooted in biblical teachings, emphasizing the importance of maintaining unity, love, and peace within the Christian community. The Bible provides clear guidance on how believers should handle conflicts, encouraging personal responsibility and reconciliation.

Biblical Foundation

The primary scriptural basis for resolving disputes privately is found in Matthew 18:15-17. Jesus instructs His followers: "If your brother sins against you, go and confront him privately. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, regard him as you would a pagan or a tax collector" . This passage outlines a step-by-step process for addressing grievances, emphasizing the importance of initial private confrontation.

Principles of Private Resolution

1. Direct Communication: The first step in resolving disputes is direct communication between the parties involved. This approach minimizes misunderstandings and allows for a candid exchange of perspectives. Proverbs 25:9 advises, "Argue your case with your neighbor without betraying another’s confidence" , highlighting the value of discretion and directness.

2. Seeking Reconciliation: The goal of addressing disputes privately is reconciliation. The Apostle Paul encourages believers in Romans 12:18, "If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone" . This pursuit of peace reflects the heart of Christ's teaching and the unity of the Spirit.

3. Avoiding Gossip and Division: Private resolution helps prevent gossip and division within the church. Proverbs 16:28 warns, "A perverse man spreads dissension, and a gossip separates close friends" . By handling matters discreetly, believers protect the integrity and harmony of the community.

4. Involving Witnesses When Necessary: If private efforts fail, involving one or two witnesses can provide additional perspectives and accountability. This step, as outlined in Matthew 18:16, ensures that the process remains fair and just.

5. Church Involvement as a Last Resort: Bringing a matter before the church is a last resort, reserved for situations where private efforts and small group interventions have not succeeded. This step underscores the seriousness of unresolved disputes and the collective responsibility of the church body.

Examples from Scripture

The Bible provides examples of private dispute resolution. In Genesis 13, Abram and Lot face a potential conflict over land. Abram proposes a peaceful solution, saying, "Please let there be no strife between you and me, or between your herdsmen and my herdsmen, for we are brothers" (Genesis 13:8). Abram's approach exemplifies humility and a desire for peace.

In the New Testament, Paul addresses a conflict between Euodia and Syntyche in Philippians 4:2-3, urging them to "agree in the Lord" and asking others to assist in their reconciliation. This reflects the communal responsibility to support private resolution efforts.

Conclusion

Resolving disputes privately is a biblically endorsed practice that fosters peace, unity, and love within the Christian community. By following the guidelines set forth in Scripture, believers can address conflicts in a manner that honors God and strengthens relationships.