1 Samuel 20:41
When the young man had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone, fell facedown, and bowed three times. Then he and Jonathan kissed each other and wept together--though David wept more.
Sermons
The Parting of FriendsB. Dale 1 Samuel 20:41
A Friendly Prince a Princely FriendH. E. Stone.1 Samuel 20:1-42
David and JonathanW. G. Blaikie, D. D.1 Samuel 20:1-42
David's Friend, JonathanMonday Club Sermons1 Samuel 20:32-42














1 Samuel 20:41. (THE STONE EZEL.)
Friends sometimes part because they cease to esteem each other. They also sometimes part not in feeling, but only in space; not willingly, but under the constraint of a higher necessity; and their separation is one of the most painful trials of life. Such was the parting of Jonathan and David. "This is the culminating point in the mutual relations of the two friends who furnish the eternal type of the perfection of noble friendship; and, moreover, in these last hours before their separation, all the threads of their destinies, henceforth so widely different, are secretly woven together. It is also at this point, consequently, that the clearest anticipation of the whole subsequent history already shines through. As Jonathan here foresees, David afterwards obtains the kingdom; and, in accordance with his oath to his friend, he afterwards, when a powerful king, always spares the descendants of Jonathan, in grateful remembrance of his dearly loved friend, and never loses an opportunity of showing them kindness" (Ewald). In their parting we observe -

I. COURTESY. David "fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times." He did so not merely in external and courtier like obeisance to the prince, but also in heartfelt esteem and homage to the friend, who had shown his fidelity in a great crisis, virtually renounced the prospect of a kingdom for his sake and in obedience to what he saw to be the Divine purpose, and was worthy of the highest honour. True courtesy -

1. Has its seat in the heart, and expresses itself in appropriate speech and conduct in intercourse with others, according to the custom of the time and place and the relative position they occupy. The outward bearing of itself, is morally worthless. It may be superficial and hypocritical. Yet "courtesy of feeling is very much acquired and promoted by cultivating courtesy of manner. Gentleness of manner has some influence on gentleness of life."

2. Is the opposite of selfishness and pride (the chief causes of its absence); unsociableness, austerity, and moroseness; coldness, reserve, and neglect; contemptuous demeanour, rudeness, and undue familiarity. And it by no means implies obsequiousness or want of self-respect.

3. Consits of humility, benevolent regard for others, kindly consideration for their feelings even in little things, gentleness, and frankness.

4. Is attended with many advantages; commended by the examples recorded in the word of God, and enjoined by its precepts (Genesis 23:12; Luke 7:44; Acts 28:7; Philemon). "Whatsoever things are lovely," etc. (Philippians 4:8). "Be courteous" (1 Peter 3:8).

II. TENDERNESS. "And they kissed one another, and wept with one another, until David exceeded" (LXX., "wept one with another with great lamentation"). The tenderness of their affection and grief was "wonderful." Something of the same tenderness -

1. Is commonly possessed by men of a brave and noble type of character. "There is in David (as there is said to be in all great geniuses) a feminine as well as a masculine vein; a passionate tenderness, a keen sensibility, a vast capacity of sympathy, sadness, and suffering which makes him truly a type of the Man of sorrows" (Kingsley).

2. Is revealed in them by special circumstances, and is in such circumstances worthy of them.

3. Is shown in sympathy with the trouble of others, rather than in grief occasioned by the deprivation of their friendship and aid. The loss which David and Jonathan were each about to suffer by the separation was great; but they were chiefly affected by the thought of the trouble which awaited each other: the one to become an outlaw and to be pursued with relentless malice; the other to bear the frowns of his royal father, and witness his ruinous career, without any consolation but that derived from the prospect of a better time under the rule of his chosen friend.

4. Appears in the restraint which is put upon the indulgence of personal feeling, from concern for others' welfare. The interview might not be prolonged. There was danger in delay. And Jonathan hastened the departure of his friend, saying, "Go in peace." Equal tenderness appears in none save those whose hearts are softened and pervaded by Divine grace (Acts 20:37, 38; Acts 21:13), or in "the Friend of sinners."

III. PIETY. "Go in peace, forasmuch," etc. Their souls were "knit" to God before they were knit to each other; the one was the cause of the other; their covenant was made "in the name of Jehovah," and he would still be with them when they parted. The piety which is possessed in common alleviates and sanctifies the grief occasioned by the separation of friends. It appears in -

1. The fellowship which is held with the eternal Friend and abides amidst all earthly changes.

2. Submission to his sovereign will, which appoints the lot of each and all (Acts 21:13).

3. Faith in his overruling power and goodness, according to which "all things work together for good" - the welfare of his people, the establishment of his kingdom.

4. The wish and prayer for his continued presence and blessing. In him parted friends may still meet, continue of "one heart and one soul," and obtain by their prayers invaluable benefits for one another.

IV. HOPEFULNESS. They did not part without the hope of meeting again in this life (which was fulfilled - 1 Samuel 23:16), and doubtless also in the eternal home to which God gathers his people. "Let it be considered what a melancholy thing any friendship would be that should be destined to expire with all its pleasures and advantages at death. That is the worthy and happy friendship, and that alone, where the parties are zealously preparing and have a good hope to meet in a nobler scene" (J. Foster). The friendship which is formed and cherished in God is not dissolved by death, but is renewed in "a life beyond life," and perpetuated forever.

"As for my friends, they are not lost;
The several vessels of thy fleet,
Though parted now, by tempest tossed,
Shall safely in the haven meet." = - D.

And Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger.
I propose to enquire into the moral meaning of this incident; to see whether there is anything in it that applies to our own circumstances. I think it impossible to read this story without having the mind arrested as several points of unusual interest.

I. HERE IS THE SADDEST OF ALL SIGHTS — MAN ARRAYED AGAINST MAN. Not man against a savage beast; but man against his own kind.

II. HERE WE HAVE THE RUPTURE OF THE MOST SACRED BONDS. Who is it that is offended in this case? It is not a stranger; it is the son that rose in fierce anger, being grieved for David and ashamed of his own father. When fathers occupy their right positions, sons, in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, will be likely to occupy theirs. A good example is never lost.

III. Here, too, is THE ASSERTION OF THE HIGHEST INSTINCT. What is it that asserts itself in this case? It is the spirit of right. Men that get up from dinner tables and say, "Not I am ashamed of your evil doing; and I will not taste your bread!" We, poor hounds, tarry at the trough and satisfy our appetites, and slake our thirst, but the man that is going out will save the world!

IV. HERE WE HAVE A DISPROOF OF A FAMILIAR PROVERB. The familiar proverb is, "Blood is thicker than water." Jonathan says, "Right is thicker than blood."

V. Here we have THE ESPOUSAL ON A NOBLE POLICY. What was the policy of Jonathan? He espoused the cause of right against might. David had no resources.

(J. Parker, D. D.)

People
Abner, David, Jesse, Jonathan, Saul
Places
Bethlehem, Jerusalem, Naioth, Ramah
Topics
Beside, Bowed, Boweth, Boy, David, David's, Exceeded, Exerted, Ezel, Face, Falleth, Falling, Fell, Got, Greater, Grief, Ground, Heap, Hill, Jonathan, Kiss, Kissed, Lad, Recovered, Risen, Rose, Secret, South, Stone, Till, Towards, Weep, Weeping, Wept, Youth
Outline
1. David consults with Jonathan for his safety
11. Jonathan and David renew their covenant by oath
18. Jonathan's token to David
23. Saul, missing David, seeks to kill Jonathan
35. Jonathan affectionately takes his leave of David

Dictionary of Bible Themes
1 Samuel 20:41

     5198   weeping
     5567   suffering, emotional
     5898   kissing
     5963   sympathy
     8341   separation

1 Samuel 20:1-42

     5086   David, rise of

1 Samuel 20:41-42

     5088   David, character
     5781   affection
     5865   gestures
     8225   devotion

Library
Jonathan, the Pattern of Friendship
'And David fled from Naioth in Ramah, and came and said before Jonathan, What have I done? what is mine iniquity? and what is my sin before thy father, that he seeketh my life? 2. And he said unto him, God forbid; thou shalt not die: behold, my father will do nothing either great or small, but that he will shew it me: and why should my father hide this thing from me? it is not so. 3. And David sware moreover, and said, Thy father certainly knoweth that I have found grace in thine eyes; and he saith,
Alexander Maclaren—Expositions of Holy Scripture

A Word for the Persecuted
Remember that this supposition is a very likely one. There are a few Christians so favourably circumstanced that all their friends accompany them in the pilgrimage to heaven. What advances they ought to make in the sacred journey! What excellent Christians they ought to be! They are like plants in a conservatory--they ought to grow and bring forth the loveliest Bowers of divine grace. But there are not very many who are altogether in that case. The large proportion of Christians find themselves opposed
Charles Haddon Spurgeon—Spurgeon's Sermons Volume 20: 1874

How to Make Use of Christ for Steadfastness, in a Time when Truth is Oppressed and Borne Down.
When enemies are prevailing, and the way of truth is evil spoken of, many faint, and many turn aside, and do not plead for truth, nor stand up for the interest of Christ, in their hour and power of darkness: many are overcome with base fear, and either side with the workers of iniquity, or are not valiant for the truth, but being faint-hearted, turn back. Now the thoughts of this may put some who desire to stand fast, and to own him and his cause in a day of trial, to enquire how they shall make
John Brown (of Wamphray)—Christ The Way, The Truth, and The Life

Samuel
Alike from the literary and the historical point of view, the book[1] of Samuel stands midway between the book of Judges and the book of Kings. As we have already seen, the Deuteronomic book of Judges in all probability ran into Samuel and ended in ch. xii.; while the story of David, begun in Samuel, embraces the first two chapters of the first book of Kings. The book of Samuel is not very happily named, as much of it is devoted to Saul and the greater part to David; yet it is not altogether inappropriate,
John Edgar McFadyen—Introduction to the Old Testament

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