Deuteronomy 22:16

and say to the elders, "I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he has come to hate her.

Study Bible

The father of the young woman
In ancient Israelite society, the family unit was central, and the father held a significant role as the head of the household. The Hebrew word for "father" is "אָב" (av), which not only denotes a biological parent but also a figure of authority and responsibility. The father's involvement in this situation underscores the patriarchal structure of the society, where the father was responsible for the welfare and protection of his daughter. This reflects the cultural and legal practices of the time, where marriage arrangements were often made by the parents, and the father acted as a guardian of his daughter's honor.

shall say to the elders
The "elders" were respected leaders within the community, often serving as judges or arbiters in legal matters. The Hebrew term "זְקֵנִים" (z'kenim) refers to these senior figures who were entrusted with maintaining justice and order. Their role in this context highlights the communal aspect of justice in ancient Israel, where disputes were resolved publicly and with the input of wise and experienced leaders. This practice ensured that personal grievances were addressed within the framework of the community's moral and legal standards.

I gave my daughter to this man
The phrase "I gave my daughter" reflects the customary practice of arranged marriages, where the father would give his daughter in marriage to a suitor. The Hebrew verb "נָתַן" (natan), meaning "to give," indicates a formal and binding transaction. This act was not merely a personal decision but a covenantal agreement, often accompanied by a bride price or dowry, signifying the transfer of responsibility and care from the father to the husband. This underscores the seriousness and sanctity of marriage as a covenant before God and the community.

but he has come to hate her
The phrase "he has come to hate her" reveals a breach in the marital covenant. The Hebrew word "שָׂנֵא" (sane) means "to hate" or "to reject," indicating a profound emotional and relational breakdown. In the context of Deuteronomy, this accusation would lead to a legal investigation to determine the truth of the matter. The use of this strong language emphasizes the gravity of the situation, as hatred within marriage was contrary to the divine intention for love and unity. This serves as a reminder of the importance of faithfulness and integrity in marital relationships, reflecting God's covenantal love for His people.

Persons / Places / Events

1. The Young Woman's Father
Represents the authority and protector of the daughter in ancient Israelite society. He is responsible for addressing grievances related to his daughter's marriage.

2. The Elders
Community leaders who serve as judges or arbiters in disputes. They hold a position of authority and are responsible for maintaining justice and order within the community.

3. The Young Woman
The subject of the marriage dispute. Her well-being and reputation are central to the proceedings described in this passage.

4. The Husband
The man who has married the young woman and is accused of hating her, which implies a breach of marital commitment and potential injustice.

5. The Marriage
A covenantal relationship that is central to the social and religious fabric of Israelite society. The passage addresses the sanctity and responsibilities inherent in this union.

Teaching Points

The Role of Family and Community in Marriage
The involvement of the father and elders highlights the communal nature of marriage in biblical times. Families and communities play a crucial role in supporting and holding accountable the marital relationship.

The Sanctity of Marriage
Marriage is a sacred covenant that requires love, respect, and commitment. The accusation of hatred in this passage serves as a warning against neglecting these responsibilities.

Justice and Protection for the Vulnerable
The passage underscores the importance of justice and protection for those who may be vulnerable or wronged in a relationship. The community is called to uphold righteousness and defend the innocent.

Addressing Marital Conflicts
Conflicts in marriage should be addressed openly and justly, with the aim of reconciliation and restoration. The involvement of elders suggests the need for wise counsel and mediation.

The Importance of Truth and Integrity
The father's declaration to the elders emphasizes the need for truthfulness and integrity in resolving disputes. Honesty is essential in maintaining trust and justice within the community.

Bible Study Questions

1. How does the role of the father in Deuteronomy 22:16 reflect the responsibilities of parents in supporting their children's marriages today?

2. In what ways can the involvement of community leaders or elders be beneficial in resolving marital conflicts in contemporary settings?

3. How does the biblical view of marriage as a covenant challenge modern cultural perceptions of marriage?

4. What steps can individuals and communities take to ensure justice and protection for those who are vulnerable in relationships?

5. How can the principles of truth and integrity in Deuteronomy 22:16 be applied to other areas of life and relationships?

Connections to Other Scriptures

Genesis 2:24
This verse establishes the foundational principle of marriage as a union where a man leaves his parents and cleaves to his wife, becoming one flesh. It underscores the seriousness of the marital commitment.

Matthew 19:4-6
Jesus reaffirms the sanctity of marriage, emphasizing that what God has joined together, man should not separate. This connection highlights the divine intention for marriage to be a lifelong, loving commitment.

Ephesians 5:25-33
Paul instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church, which contrasts with the husband's behavior in Deuteronomy 22:16. This passage provides a New Testament perspective on marital love and responsibility.