Deuteronomy 21:18

If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and does not listen to them when disciplined,

Study Bible

If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son
The phrase "If a man has" introduces a conditional situation, indicating a specific family dynamic that requires attention. In the Hebrew context, the family unit was central to societal structure, and the father held a significant role in maintaining order and discipline. The word "stubborn" in Hebrew is "sorer," which implies a refusal to listen or submit to authority. This characteristic is not merely a phase of adolescence but a deep-seated defiance. "Rebellious" translates from "moreh," suggesting a deliberate and ongoing resistance to parental guidance. This behavior disrupts the harmony and order expected within a God-fearing household.

who does not obey his father and mother
The command to "obey" is rooted in the Hebrew word "shama," meaning to hear or listen with the intent to act. This obedience is not just about compliance but involves respect and honor towards one's parents, as outlined in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:12). The inclusion of both "father and mother" emphasizes the equal authority of both parents in the upbringing of their children, reflecting the biblical principle of honoring both parents equally.

and does not listen to them when disciplined
The phrase "does not listen" reiterates the son's persistent refusal to heed parental instruction. "Disciplined" comes from the Hebrew "yasar," which encompasses correction, instruction, and chastisement. This discipline is intended for the child's growth and alignment with God's statutes. The historical context shows that discipline was a communal value, essential for maintaining societal order and covenantal faithfulness.

his father and mother are to take hold of him
The action "to take hold of him" signifies a serious intervention by the parents. This is not a casual or impulsive act but a deliberate step taken after repeated attempts to correct the son's behavior. The parents' involvement underscores their responsibility and authority in addressing the issue, reflecting the biblical mandate for parents to guide their children in the ways of the Lord (Proverbs 22:6).

and bring him to the elders at the gate of his city
The "elders" were respected leaders and judges within the community, responsible for upholding justice and communal standards. Bringing the son "to the elders" indicates the gravity of the situation, as it moves beyond the private family sphere into the public domain. The "gate of his city" was the place of legal proceedings and public discourse, symbolizing transparency and accountability. This step reflects the communal nature of ancient Israelite society, where individual actions impacted the collective well-being.

Persons / Places / Events

1. The Father and Mother
The parents represent authority and the primary educators in the family unit, responsible for guiding their children in the ways of the Lord.

2. The Stubborn and Rebellious Son
This individual symbolizes disobedience and a refusal to adhere to parental and, by extension, divine authority.

3. The Community
Although not explicitly mentioned in this verse, the broader community plays a role in the subsequent verses, emphasizing communal responsibility in upholding God's laws.

4. The Law of Moses
This is part of the Mosaic Law given to the Israelites, reflecting God's standards for holiness and community order.

5. The Promised Land
The setting for these laws, where the Israelites are to live as God's chosen people, reflecting His holiness.

Teaching Points

The Importance of Parental Authority
Parents are given authority by God to guide and discipline their children. This authority is crucial for maintaining order and teaching children to respect God's commandments.

The Consequences of Rebellion
Rebellion against parental authority is seen as a serious offense, reflecting a deeper rebellion against God. Understanding the gravity of such actions can lead to repentance and restoration.

Community Responsibility
The community's involvement in upholding God's laws shows the importance of collective responsibility in maintaining moral and spiritual standards.

The Role of Discipline
Discipline is a necessary part of parenting, intended to correct and guide children towards righteousness. It should be administered with love and a desire for the child's growth.

Reflecting God's Holiness
The family unit is a microcosm of God's kingdom, and maintaining order within it reflects God's holiness to the world.

Bible Study Questions

1. How does the concept of honoring one's parents in Deuteronomy 21:18 relate to the fifth commandment in Exodus 20:12?

2. In what ways can parents today exercise their God-given authority to guide their children in a manner that reflects biblical principles?

3. How does the community's role in the subsequent verses of Deuteronomy 21 inform our understanding of communal responsibility in the church today?

4. What are some practical ways to balance discipline and love in parenting, according to biblical teachings?

5. How can understanding the seriousness of rebellion against parental authority help us in our relationship with God and others?

Connections to Other Scriptures

Exodus 20:12
This verse connects to the commandment to honor one's father and mother, highlighting the importance of family respect and obedience.

Proverbs 22:6
This verse emphasizes the role of parents in training a child in the way they should go, reinforcing the responsibility of parents to guide their children.

Ephesians 6:1-3
This New Testament passage reiterates the command for children to obey their parents, showing the continuity of this principle in Christian teaching.