Proverbs 31:3

Do not spend your strength on women or your vigor on those who ruin kings.

Study Bible

Do not spend your strength
The phrase "do not spend your strength" serves as a cautionary directive, urging restraint and wisdom in the allocation of one's energy and resources. The Hebrew word for "strength" here is "חֵיל" (cheil), which can also mean wealth or capability. Historically, this advice is rooted in the understanding that a man's strength is not merely physical but encompasses his influence, resources, and potential. In a conservative Christian perspective, this is a call to stewardship, emphasizing that one's God-given abilities should be used for righteous purposes and not squandered on pursuits that lead to moral or spiritual decline.

on women
The term "on women" in this context is not a blanket condemnation of women but rather a warning against engaging in relationships that are detrimental or distracting from one's divine purpose. The Hebrew word "נָשִׁים" (nashim) is used here, which simply means women, but the implication is towards relationships that are not aligned with God's will. Historically, many kings and leaders fell into ruin due to entanglements with women who led them away from their responsibilities and faith. From a conservative Christian viewpoint, this serves as a reminder to seek relationships that honor God and uphold His commandments.

your vigor
"Your vigor" refers to one's vitality and life force. The Hebrew word "כֹּחַ" (koach) is used, which denotes power, strength, and ability. This phrase underscores the importance of preserving one's energy for endeavors that are constructive and aligned with God's purpose. In a historical context, leaders were often advised to channel their vigor into governance and service to their people. For Christians, this is a call to dedicate one's vigor to serving God and others, ensuring that one's life is a testament to faith and righteousness.

on those who ruin kings
The phrase "on those who ruin kings" serves as a stark warning about the potential consequences of misdirected affections and alliances. The Hebrew word "מְחָה" (mechah) means to destroy or ruin, and it highlights the destructive potential of certain relationships. Historically, many biblical kings, such as Solomon, faced downfall due to alliances and relationships that led them away from God. In a conservative Christian context, this is a caution to be vigilant about the influences in one's life, ensuring they lead towards spiritual growth rather than destruction. It is a call to seek wisdom and discernment in all relationships, prioritizing those that encourage a closer walk with God.

Persons / Places / Events

1. King Lemuel
The author of Proverbs 31, traditionally understood to be a king receiving wisdom from his mother. The identity of Lemuel is not definitively known, but he is often seen as a symbolic figure representing any ruler or leader.

2. Women
In this context, refers to relationships that can lead a man away from his responsibilities and duties, particularly those that can be detrimental to a leader's strength and focus.

3. Kings
Represents leaders or those in positions of authority who are warned against being led astray by indulgence or distractions that can compromise their leadership.

Teaching Points

Guard Your Strength
Leaders must be vigilant in protecting their physical, emotional, and spiritual strength from being depleted by unwise relationships or pursuits.

Wisdom in Relationships
Choose relationships that build up and support your mission and calling, rather than those that distract or detract from it.

The Cost of Indulgence
Recognize the potential cost of indulgence in relationships that can lead to moral and spiritual decline, especially for those in leadership.

Focus on Godly Leadership
A leader's primary focus should be on fulfilling their God-given responsibilities, avoiding distractions that can lead to downfall.

Heeding Parental Wisdom
Value and consider the wisdom and guidance from parents or mentors, as King Lemuel did from his mother.

Bible Study Questions

1. How can the example of King Solomon's relationships inform our understanding of Proverbs 31:3?

2. In what ways can modern leaders apply the wisdom of Proverbs 31:3 to their personal and professional lives?

3. How does the account of Samson and Delilah illustrate the warning given in Proverbs 31:3?

4. What practical steps can you take to ensure your relationships are strengthening rather than weakening your spiritual and leadership journey?

5. How can the qualifications for overseers in 1 Timothy 3:2 serve as a guide for applying the principles of Proverbs 31:3 in your life?

Connections to Other Scriptures

1 Kings 11:1-4
The account of Solomon, whose many foreign wives led him astray from God, serves as a historical example of the warning in Proverbs 31:3.

Judges 16:4-21
The account of Samson and Delilah illustrates the dangers of being led astray by relationships that compromise one's strength and mission.

1 Timothy 3:2
This verse outlines the qualifications for overseers, emphasizing the importance of being above reproach and faithful, which aligns with the wisdom in Proverbs 31:3.