2 Samuel 14:2

So Joab sent to Tekoa to bring a wise woman from there. He told her, "Please pretend to be a mourner; put on clothes for mourning and do not anoint yourself with oil. Act like a woman who has mourned for the dead a long time.

Study Bible

So Joab sent to Tekoa
Joab, the commander of King David's army, is a central figure in this narrative. His decision to send to Tekoa, a town in Judah, reflects his strategic and discerning nature. Tekoa was known for its wise inhabitants, as evidenced by the prophet Amos who hailed from there. The Hebrew root for "sent" (שָׁלַח, shalach) implies a deliberate and purposeful action, indicating Joab's intention to resolve the tension between David and his estranged son Absalom. This action underscores the importance of wisdom and counsel in leadership, a theme prevalent throughout the Scriptures.

to bring a wise woman from there
The phrase "wise woman" (אִשָּׁה חֲכָמָה, ishah chachamah) highlights the cultural and historical recognition of women's roles in providing counsel and mediation. In ancient Israel, wisdom was highly esteemed, and women like the one from Tekoa were often sought for their insight and ability to influence outcomes. This reflects the biblical principle that wisdom is not confined to gender or status but is a gift from God, available to all who seek it earnestly.

He told her, 'Please pretend to be a mourner
Joab's instruction to the woman to "pretend" (הִתְאַבֵּל, hitabel) as a mourner is a strategic move to evoke empathy and reflection in King David. Mourning in ancient Israel was a deeply symbolic act, often involving specific attire and behavior to express grief and loss. This act of pretending serves a higher purpose, aiming to mirror David's own unresolved grief over his son Absalom, and to prompt reconciliation. It reminds us of the power of empathy and the importance of addressing unresolved emotional and relational issues.

and put on mourning clothes
Mourning clothes were a visible sign of sorrow and loss, often made of sackcloth or other coarse materials. The Hebrew culture placed significant emphasis on outward expressions of inner states, and clothing was a primary means of communication. By instructing the woman to wear mourning clothes, Joab is setting the stage for a powerful visual and emotional appeal to David. This act serves as a reminder of the biblical call to authenticity and the importance of aligning our outward expressions with our inner convictions.

Do not anoint yourself with oil
Anointing with oil was a common practice in ancient Israel, symbolizing joy, health, and consecration. By instructing the woman not to anoint herself, Joab emphasizes the depth of the mourning she is to portray. This abstention from oil highlights the contrast between mourning and celebration, underscoring the gravity of the situation. It serves as a metaphor for the spiritual anointing that believers seek, reminding us that true joy and consecration come from God, even in times of sorrow.

but act like a woman who has been mourning for the dead for a long time
The phrase "for a long time" (יָמִים רַבִּים, yamim rabbim) indicates an extended period of mourning, suggesting a deep and abiding grief. This prolonged mourning is meant to resonate with David's own long-standing sorrow over his estranged son. In the biblical context, extended mourning was a sign of profound loss and love, reflecting the enduring nature of relationships and the pain of separation. This narrative invites us to consider the enduring nature of God's love for us, even when we are estranged from Him, and the hope of reconciliation through His grace.

Persons / Places / Events

1. Joab
The commander of King David's army, known for his strategic mind and sometimes ruthless actions. He plays a pivotal role in the reconciliation between David and his son Absalom.

2. Tekoa
A town in Judah, known for its wise inhabitants. It is the hometown of the prophet Amos and is located about 10 miles south of Jerusalem.

3. Wise Woman
An unnamed woman from Tekoa, chosen by Joab for her wisdom and ability to convincingly portray a mourner. Her role is crucial in delivering Joab's message to King David.

4. Mourning
The act of expressing grief, often through specific attire and behavior. In this context, it is used as a ruse to gain King David's attention and sympathy.

5. Absalom
Although not directly mentioned in this verse, he is the underlying reason for Joab's actions. Absalom is David's son, estranged from his father after killing his brother Amnon.

Teaching Points

The Role of Wisdom in Conflict Resolution
The wise woman of Tekoa demonstrates how wisdom can be used to navigate complex situations and bring about reconciliation. In our lives, seeking wise counsel can help resolve conflicts and restore relationships.

The Power of Persuasion and Influence
Joab's use of the woman's persuasive abilities shows the impact of influence. As Christians, we should be mindful of how we use our influence and ensure it aligns with godly principles.

The Ethics of Deception
This passage raises questions about the morality of using deception for a perceived good. It challenges us to consider the ethical implications of our actions and to seek truthfulness in our dealings.

The Importance of Reconciliation
Joab's actions, though deceptive, aim to reconcile David and Absalom. This underscores the biblical principle of reconciliation and the lengths we might go to restore broken relationships.

Bible Study Questions

1. How does the role of the wise woman from Tekoa illustrate the importance of wisdom in addressing difficult situations? Can you think of a time when seeking wise counsel helped you?

2. In what ways does Joab's strategy reflect both positive and negative aspects of influence? How can we ensure our influence is used for good?

3. Considering the ethical dilemma presented in this passage, how do you discern when it is appropriate to use unconventional methods to achieve a goal?

4. How does the theme of reconciliation in this passage connect with Jesus' teachings on forgiveness and restoration in the New Testament?

5. Reflect on a relationship in your life that may need reconciliation. What steps can you take, inspired by this passage, to begin that process?

Connections to Other Scriptures

Genesis 37
The account of Joseph's brothers deceiving their father Jacob with Joseph's coat. This connection highlights the theme of deception used to convey a message or evoke a response.

Proverbs 14:1
Discusses the wisdom of women, which can be related to the wise woman of Tekoa and her role in influencing King David.

Matthew 5:4
Jesus speaks about those who mourn being comforted, which can be contrasted with the feigned mourning in this passage.