Proverbs 21:19
Better to live in the desert than with a contentious and ill-tempered wife.
Better to live
The phrase "better to live" suggests a comparison of life choices, emphasizing the importance of peace and contentment over material or relational circumstances. The Hebrew root for "better" is "טוֹב" (tov), which conveys goodness, welfare, and prosperity. This word is often used in the Old Testament to describe what is desirable or beneficial. The implication here is that a life of simplicity and solitude, even in harsh conditions, is preferable to one filled with strife.

in the desert
The "desert" or "wilderness" in Hebrew is "מִדְבָּר" (midbar), a place often associated with desolation, barrenness, and hardship. Historically, the desert was a place of testing and purification for the Israelites, as seen in their 40-year journey. It symbolizes a place of solitude and reflection, where one can escape the chaos and find peace. The desert, despite its harshness, offers a stark contrast to the turmoil of a contentious relationship.

than with a contentious
The word "contentious" comes from the Hebrew "מִדְיָנִים" (midyanim), which means strife or quarrels. This term is used to describe a person who is prone to arguments and disputes. In the biblical context, contentiousness disrupts harmony and creates an environment of constant tension. The wisdom literature of the Bible often warns against such behavior, highlighting the value of peace and unity.

and ill-tempered
"Ill-tempered" is translated from the Hebrew "כַּעַס" (ka'as), meaning anger or vexation. This word describes a state of emotional turmoil that can lead to destructive behavior. In the biblical narrative, anger is frequently cautioned against, as it can lead to sin and broken relationships. The emphasis here is on the destructive nature of unchecked emotions and the importance of self-control.

wife
The term "wife" in Hebrew is "אִשָּׁה" (ishah), which refers to a woman in the context of marriage. In the biblical framework, marriage is a covenant relationship designed for mutual support, love, and companionship. The mention of a "contentious and ill-tempered wife" serves as a cautionary note about the potential for discord within this sacred bond. It underscores the importance of choosing a partner who embodies the virtues of patience, kindness, and peace.

Persons / Places / Events
1. The Desert
In biblical times, the desert was often seen as a place of solitude, desolation, and hardship. It represents a stark contrast to the comfort of a home, emphasizing the severity of the situation described in the proverb.

2. Contentious Wife
The term "contentious" refers to someone who is quarrelsome or argumentative. In the context of this proverb, it highlights the disruptive nature of constant conflict within a household.

3. Ill-tempered Wife
This describes someone who is easily angered or irritable. The proverb uses this characterization to underscore the emotional turmoil that can arise from living with such a person.
Teaching Points
The Value of Peace
The proverb emphasizes the importance of peace in the home. It suggests that peace is so valuable that it is better to endure physical discomfort than to live in constant conflict.

The Impact of Behavior
Our behavior, especially within the family, has a profound impact on those around us. The proverb serves as a warning against allowing contentiousness and ill-temper to dominate our interactions.

The Call to Self-Examination
This verse encourages self-reflection on how our actions and attitudes affect our relationships. It challenges us to cultivate a spirit of gentleness and patience.

The Pursuit of Godly Character
The Bible calls us to develop a character that reflects Christ, marked by love, patience, and kindness, as opposed to contentiousness and anger.
Bible Study Questions
1. How does the imagery of the desert in Proverbs 21:19 help us understand the severity of living with a contentious and ill-tempered person?

2. In what ways can we apply the principle of seeking peace over comfort in our own lives and relationships?

3. How do other scriptures, such as 1 Peter 3:1-4, provide guidance on cultivating a gentle and quiet spirit?

4. Reflect on a time when you experienced or witnessed the impact of contentious behavior. What lessons can be learned from that experience?

5. What practical steps can we take to foster a peaceful and harmonious environment in our homes and communities?
Connections to Other Scriptures
Proverbs 19:13
This verse also speaks about the challenges of living with a contentious person, comparing it to a constant dripping on a rainy day, which can be both annoying and relentless.

Proverbs 25:24
Similar to Proverbs 21:19, this verse suggests that it is better to live in a corner of the roof than share a house with a contentious woman, reinforcing the theme of seeking peace over comfort.

1 Peter 3:1-4
This passage encourages wives to exhibit a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God's sight, contrasting with the contentious and ill-tempered behavior mentioned in Proverbs 21:19.
An Angry WomanW. Harris.Proverbs 21:19
Alternatives Presented to ChoiceE. Johnson Proverbs 21:18-20
People
Solomon
Places
Jerusalem
Topics
Anger, Angry, Better, Bitter-tongued, Contentions, Contentious, Desert, Dwell, Fretful, Ill, Irritable, Quarrelsome, Tempered, Vexing, Waste, Wife, Wilderness
Dictionary of Bible Themes
Proverbs 21:19

     4230   desert
     5550   speech, negative
     5744   wife
     5834   disagreement

Library
Definition of Actual Grace
1. GENERAL NOTION OF GRACE.--The best way to arrive at a correct definition of actual grace is by the synthetic method. We therefore begin with the general notion of grace. Like "nature,"(3) grace (gratia, {GREEK SMALL LETTER CHI}{GREEK SMALL LETTER ALPHA WITH OXIA}{GREEK SMALL LETTER RHO}{GREEK SMALL LETTER IOTA}{GREEK SMALL LETTER FINAL SIGMA}) is a word of wide reach, used in a great variety of senses. Habert(4) enumerates no less than fourteen; which, however, may be reduced to four. a) Subjectively,
Joseph Pohle—Grace, Actual and Habitual

Epistle xxi. To Constantina Augusta .
To Constantina Augusta [1593] . Gregory to Constantina, &c. Almighty God, who holds in His right hand the heart of your Piety, both protects us through you and prepares for you rewards of eternal remuneration for temporal deeds. For I have learnt from the letters of the deacon Sabinianus my responsalis with what justice your Serenity is interested in the cause of the blessed Prince of the apostles Peter against certain persons who are proudly humble and feignedly kind. And I trust in the bounty
Saint Gregory the Great—the Epistles of Saint Gregory the Great

Epistle Cvi. To Syagrius, Ætherius, virgilius, and Desiderius, Bishops .
To Syagrius, Ætherius, Virgilius, and Desiderius, Bishops [65] . Gregory to Syagrius of Augustodunum (Autun), Etherius of Lugdunum (Lyons), Virgilius of Aretale (Arles), and Desiderius of Vienna (Vienne), bishops of Gaul. A paribus. Our Head, which is Christ, has to this end willed us to be His members, that through the bond of charity and faith He might make us one body in Himself. And to Him it befits us so to adhere in heart, that, since without Him we can be nothing, through Him we may
Saint Gregory the Great—the Epistles of Saint Gregory the Great

How the Slothful and the Hasty are to be Admonished.
(Admonition 16.) Differently to be admonished are the slothful and the hasty. For the former are to be persuaded not to lose, by putting it off, the good they have to do; but the latter are to be admonished lest, while they forestall the time of good deeds by inconsiderate haste, they change their meritorious character. To the slothful therefore it is to be intimated, that often, when we will not do at the right time what we can, before long, when we will, we cannot. For the very indolence of
Leo the Great—Writings of Leo the Great

How those are to be Admonished who Desire not the Things of Others, but Keep their Own; and those who Give of their Own, yet Seize
(Admonition 22.) Differently to be admonished are those who neither desire what belongs to others nor bestow what is their own, and those who give of what they have, and yet desist not from seizing on what belongs to others. Those who neither desire what belongs to others nor bestow what is their own are to be admonished to consider carefully that the earth out of which they are taken is common to all men, and therefore brings forth nourishment for all in common. Vainly, then, do those suppose
Leo the Great—Writings of Leo the Great

The Heavenly Footman; Or, a Description of the Man that Gets to Heaven:
TOGETHER WITH THE WAY HE RUNS IN, THE MARKS HE GOES BY; ALSO, SOME DIRECTIONS HOW TO RUN SO AS TO OBTAIN. 'And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain: escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed.'--Genesis 19:17. London: Printed for John Marshall, at the Bible in Gracechurch Street, 1698. ADVERTISEMENT BY THE EDITOR. About forty years ago a gentleman, in whose company I had commenced my
John Bunyan—The Works of John Bunyan Volumes 1-3

"And the Life. " How Christ is the Life.
This, as the former, being spoken indefinitely, may be universally taken, as relating both to such as are yet in the state of nature, and to such as are in the state of grace, and so may be considered in reference to both, and ground three points of truth, both in reference to the one, and in reference to the other; to wit, 1. That our case is such as we stand in need of his help, as being the Life. 2. That no other way but by him, can we get that supply of life, which we stand in need of, for he
John Brown (of Wamphray)—Christ The Way, The Truth, and The Life

How Christ is the Way in General, "I am the Way. "
We come now to speak more particularly to the words; and, first, Of his being a way. Our design being to point at the way of use-making of Christ in all our necessities, straits, and difficulties which are in our way to heaven; and particularly to point out the way how believers should make use of Christ in all their particular exigencies; and so live by faith in him, walk in him, grow up in him, advance and march forward toward glory in him. It will not be amiss to speak of this fulness of Christ
John Brown (of Wamphray)—Christ The Way, The Truth, and The Life

An Analysis of Augustin's Writings against the Donatists.
The object of this chapter is to present a rudimentary outline and summary of all that Augustin penned or spoke against those traditional North African Christians whom he was pleased to regard as schismatics. It will be arranged, so far as may be, in chronological order, following the dates suggested by the Benedictine edition. The necessary brevity precludes anything but a very meagre treatment of so considerable a theme. The writer takes no responsibility for the ecclesiological tenets of the
St. Augustine—writings in connection with the donatist controversy.

Paul's Departure and Crown;
OR, AN EXPOSITION UPON 2 TIM. IV. 6-8 ADVERTISEMENT BY THE EDITOR How great and glorious is the Christian's ultimate destiny--a kingdom and a crown! Surely it hath not entered into the heart of man to conceive what ear never heard, nor mortal eye ever saw? the mansions of the blest--the realms of glory--'a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.' For whom can so precious an inheritance be intended? How are those treated in this world who are entitled to so glorious, so exalted, so eternal,
John Bunyan—The Works of John Bunyan Volumes 1-3

Proverbs
Many specimens of the so-called Wisdom Literature are preserved for us in the book of Proverbs, for its contents are by no means confined to what we call proverbs. The first nine chapters constitute a continuous discourse, almost in the manner of a sermon; and of the last two chapters, ch. xxx. is largely made up of enigmas, and xxxi. is in part a description of the good housewife. All, however, are rightly subsumed under the idea of wisdom, which to the Hebrew had always moral relations. The Hebrew
John Edgar McFadyen—Introduction to the Old Testament

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