My soul is weary of my life; I will leave my complaint on myself; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.
This is the cry of one who declares, "My soul is weary of my life." He opens his lips that the stream of his "complaint" may flow forth unchecked. Yet is he humble and subdued, though he adopts almost the tone of expostulation. He has confessed himself to be unequal to the contention. He cannot give answer to God; he has acknowledged his guilt and impotence. Now he would know "wherefore" God contends with him. This is the desire of even the most resigned sufferer. Certainly the cry which comes oft from the lips of the deeply afflicted is, "Why am I thus made to suffer?" If Christian principle and calm faith keep back the demand, "Show me wherefore," yet it is heard in the undertones of amazement and surprise at the unexplained and even severe dealings of a loving God - "Ah, it is mysterious!" The confession of the mysteriousness of human suffering is a suppressed cry for the mystery to be cleared up. Job's cry takes the form of -
I. A DESIRE TO RE FREED FROM CONDEMNATION. "I will say unto God, Do not condemn me." This the first desire of the resigned sufferer. Let it not be as a punishment for my transgression. "Condemn me not" is another form of urging, "Pardon my offence which! confess." It is a prayer for forgiveness. Up to this, the previous confession of unworthiness and even of sin has properly led. It is the first rest of the soul. While the unconfessed condemnations of guilt are upon it there can be no peace. Happy he who in the depth of his suffering makes his confession; happier still he who hears the word of gracious forgiveness. This is followed by -
II. THE UNSUPPRESSED LONGING TO KNOW THE REASON FOR THE DIVINE AFFLICTIONS. "Show me wherefore thou contendest with me." How natural to desire this! But the Divine ways are "past finding out." "He giveth none account of his ways" Certainly to Job came no sufficient answer. It remained for later days to learn, "Whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth" To all Job's suggestions a negative reply may be given.
1. It is not "good" (i.e. pleasing) to God "to oppress," to (appear to) "despise" his creatures; or, as it would seem, "to shine upon the counsel of the wicked"
2. He has not "eyes of flesh" He does not see "as man seeth" - looking only on the outward appearance, and judging by that alone. God looketh on the heart, and estimates the human act by the motive which impels it. He makes allowance for human frailty more than even frail, erring man makes for his own brother. He is just in his view, and not warped as is the judgment of feeble flesh.
3. His days are not "as the days of man." His are the days of eternity, lie can wait until the future for a justification of Job's conduct. He has not to make haste to bring about a crisis in Job's history. He needs not to hurry to put Job to the proof. Our reflections on the Divine dealings may be justly corrected by duly pondering this history. In our assured integrity we may wait. In our conscious sinfulness we are safest in the Lord's hands; from which, indeed, we cannot escape. "There is none that can deliver out of thine hand." - R.G.
Parallel VersesKJV: My soul is weary of my life; I will leave my complaint upon myself; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.