2 Samuel 13:4

so he asked Amnon, "Why are you, the son of the king, so depressed morning after morning? Won't you tell me?" Amnon replied, "I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister."

Study Bible

He asked Amnon
The phrase introduces Jonadab, a cousin and friend of Amnon, who plays a pivotal role in the unfolding events. The Hebrew root for "asked" (שָׁאַל, sha'al) implies a seeking of understanding or inquiry, often used in contexts where guidance or counsel is sought. This sets the stage for Jonadab's influence, highlighting the importance of the company one keeps and the counsel one receives, a theme echoed throughout Proverbs.

Why are you, the son of the king
This phrase emphasizes Amnon's royal status, which comes with privilege and responsibility. The Hebrew word for "son" (בֵּן, ben) signifies not just lineage but also identity and expectation. As the son of King David, Amnon's actions carry weight and consequence, reminding us of the biblical principle that to whom much is given, much is required (Luke 12:48).

so depressed morning after morning
The repetition of "morning after morning" underscores the persistent nature of Amnon's condition. The Hebrew word for "depressed" (דַּל, dal) can also mean weak or thin, suggesting a depletion of spirit or vitality. This reflects the spiritual and emotional toll of harboring sinful desires, a warning of the corrosive nature of unchecked lust and obsession.

Won’t you tell me?
Jonadab's question is probing, yet it also reveals a lack of discernment. The Hebrew root for "tell" (נָגַד, nagad) means to declare or make known, often used in contexts of revelation or confession. This moment is pivotal, as it opens the door for Amnon to voice his illicit desire, illustrating the power of words to bring hidden sin into the light.

Amnon replied
The act of replying signifies a moment of decision. The Hebrew root (עָנָה, anah) for "replied" can also mean to answer or respond, indicating a turning point where Amnon chooses to reveal his heart. This highlights the biblical truth that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks (Matthew 12:34).

I am in love with Tamar
The phrase "in love" is a tragic misnomer in this context. The Hebrew word for love (אָהַב, ahav) is often used to describe deep affection or covenantal love, yet here it is twisted into lust. Tamar, whose name means "palm tree," symbolizes beauty and righteousness, yet she becomes the object of Amnon's sinful desire, a stark reminder of the distortion of true love by sin.

my brother Absalom’s sister
This phrase underscores the familial relationships that should have been protective and sacred. The Hebrew word for "brother" (אָח, ach) and "sister" (אָחוֹת, achot) emphasize kinship and loyalty. The violation of these bonds foreshadows the ensuing tragedy and division within David's family, illustrating the destructive ripple effects of sin within a community.

Persons / Places / Events

1. Amnon
The eldest son of King David, who becomes infatuated with his half-sister Tamar.

2. Tamar
The beautiful sister of Absalom and half-sister to Amnon, who becomes the object of Amnon's illicit desire.

3. Absalom
Tamar's full brother, who later avenges the wrong done to his sister.

4. Jonadab
A cousin to Amnon and a shrewd advisor, who questions Amnon about his distress and later gives him advice on how to act on his desires.

5. King David
The father of Amnon, Tamar, and Absalom, whose family is torn apart by these events.

Teaching Points

Guard Your Heart
Amnon's unchecked desires led to devastating consequences. We must guard our hearts and align our desires with God's will.

Choose Your Counsel Wisely
Jonadab's advice to Amnon was not godly. Seek counsel from those who are grounded in biblical truth.

Consequences of Sin
Amnon's actions led to a chain of tragic events. Sin often has far-reaching consequences beyond the immediate act.

Family Dynamics and Responsibility
David's family suffered due to his lack of intervention. As leaders and family members, we must address issues proactively and biblically.

Love vs. Lust
Amnon's feelings were not true love but lust. True love is selfless and seeks the best for others, as described in 1 Corinthians 13.

Bible Study Questions

1. How does Amnon's infatuation with Tamar illustrate the dangers of unchecked desires? Reflect on James 1:14-15.

2. In what ways can we ensure that the advice we receive aligns with biblical principles? Consider Proverbs 27:6.

3. What are some practical steps we can take to guard our hearts against sinful desires? Relate this to Proverbs 4:23.

4. How can we as Christians address family issues in a way that honors God and promotes healing? Reflect on Ephesians 4:31-32.

5. How does the account of Amnon and Tamar challenge us to differentiate between love and lust in our relationships? Consider 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Connections to Other Scriptures

Genesis 4:6-7
The account of Cain and Abel, where God questions Cain about his anger, parallels Jonadab questioning Amnon, highlighting the importance of addressing sinful desires before they lead to sin.

James 1:14-15
This passage discusses how desire leads to sin, which then leads to death, mirroring Amnon's progression from desire to sin.

Proverbs 27:6
This verse speaks about the wounds of a friend being faithful, contrasting with Jonadab's role as a deceptive advisor to Amnon.