2 Samuel 13:20

Her brother Absalom said to her, "Has your brother Amnon been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister. He is your brother. Do not take this thing to heart." So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in the house of her brother Absalom.

Study Bible

Her brother Absalom said to her
The phrase highlights the familial relationship between Absalom and Tamar, emphasizing the protective role Absalom assumes. In Hebrew, "Absalom" means "father of peace," which is ironic given the turmoil that follows. Historically, Absalom is known for his later rebellion against King David, but here, he is portrayed as a caring brother. This moment foreshadows the deep-seated family tensions that will unravel in the subsequent chapters.

Has your brother Amnon been with you?
This question reveals Absalom's immediate suspicion and awareness of the situation. The Hebrew word for "been with" (הָיָה, hayah) can imply a range of interactions, but in this context, it suggests an inappropriate encounter. The question underscores the gravity of Amnon's actions and the violation of familial trust. It also reflects the cultural and legal implications of such an act in ancient Israel, where family honor was paramount.

Be quiet for now, my sister
Absalom's advice to Tamar to "be quiet" (חֲרִישִׁי, charishi) can be seen as both protective and problematic. On one hand, it suggests a temporary measure to prevent further shame or scandal. On the other hand, it reflects the societal tendency to silence victims, a theme that resonates with many throughout history. This phrase invites reflection on the balance between seeking justice and maintaining family honor.

He is your brother
This phrase emphasizes the complexity of the situation, as it involves close family ties. The Hebrew term for "brother" (אָח, ach) is a reminder of the expected loyalty and protection within a family. However, Amnon's betrayal of this bond highlights the moral and ethical decay present in David's household, serving as a cautionary tale about the consequences of unchecked desires and familial dysfunction.

Do not take this to heart
Absalom's counsel to Tamar not to "take this to heart" (אַל־תָּשִׂ֣י לִבֵּ֔ךְ, al-tasi libbekh) can be interpreted as an attempt to comfort her, suggesting that she should not let this event define her. However, it also reflects a dismissive attitude towards her trauma, indicative of the broader cultural context where women's voices and experiences were often marginalized. This phrase challenges readers to consider the importance of acknowledging and addressing personal and communal pain.

So Tamar lived as a desolate woman
The description of Tamar as "desolate" (שֹׁמֵמָה, shomemah) paints a vivid picture of her emotional and social state. In ancient Israel, a woman's worth was often tied to her marital status and ability to bear children. Tamar's desolation signifies not only her personal grief but also her loss of prospects and status. This phrase serves as a poignant reminder of the long-lasting impact of sin and injustice on individuals and communities.

in the house of her brother Absalom
Tamar's residence in Absalom's house indicates a shift in her dependency and protection. While Absalom provides her with shelter, the phrase also foreshadows the brewing resentment and desire for vengeance that will later manifest in Absalom's actions against Amnon. This setting becomes a backdrop for the unfolding drama within David's family, highlighting the interconnectedness of personal and political conflicts in the biblical narrative.

Persons / Places / Events

1. Absalom
The son of King David and brother to both Amnon and Tamar. He plays a significant role in comforting Tamar and later avenging her.

2. Tamar
The daughter of King David, who is violated by her half-brother Amnon. She is left desolate and lives in Absalom's house after the incident.

3. Amnon
The firstborn son of King David, who commits a grievous sin against his half-sister Tamar, leading to familial strife and his eventual death.

4. David's Household
The royal family of Israel, experiencing internal turmoil and moral failure, which has broader implications for the kingdom.

5. Desolation
The state in which Tamar finds herself, reflecting the deep personal and familial consequences of sin and injustice.

Teaching Points

The Consequences of Sin
Sin, especially within families, can lead to devastating consequences that affect not only the individuals directly involved but also the broader community.

The Importance of Justice
The lack of immediate justice for Tamar's situation highlights the need for righteous leadership and the pursuit of justice in our communities.

The Role of Silence and Speaking Out
Absalom's advice to Tamar to "be quiet" reflects a tension between silence and the need to speak out against injustice. Believers are called to discern when to speak and when to remain silent.

God's Comfort in Desolation
Even in times of desolation and despair, God offers comfort and hope. Believers can find solace in God's presence and promises.

Family Dynamics and Forgiveness
The account challenges us to consider the complexities of family relationships and the role of forgiveness and reconciliation in healing brokenness.

Bible Study Questions

1. How does the account of Tamar and Amnon reflect the broader theme of sin and its consequences in the Bible?

2. In what ways can we seek justice for those who have been wronged, as seen in the account of Tamar?

3. How can we balance the need for silence and speaking out in situations of injustice, as illustrated by Absalom's advice to Tamar?

4. What are some practical ways we can offer comfort to those who feel desolate, drawing from biblical principles?

5. How can the themes of forgiveness and reconciliation be applied in our own family dynamics, in light of the events in 2 Samuel 13?

Connections to Other Scriptures

Genesis 34
The account of Dinah, who also experiences violation and the subsequent actions of her brothers, provides a parallel to Tamar's account, highlighting themes of family honor and revenge.

Psalm 55:12-14
David's lament over betrayal by a close friend can be seen as reflective of the betrayal within his own family, as seen in the actions of Amnon and the subsequent fallout.

Matthew 5:4
Jesus' teaching on mourning and comfort can be applied to Tamar's situation, offering a perspective on divine comfort in times of deep personal grief.